I want to have my cake and eat it too when I am feeling pain I don’t want it but when I am feeling pleasure I want it when I am feeling pain I want to get away from the world I want to step out of the cycle but I still can’t detach from the pleasure I believe there’s a different kind of pleasure from a non-worldly life but I am not yet wise enough to have tasted it and also because the world is what I know it is what I was born into and my upbringing shaped me in the cycle of pain and pleasure.

Originally written on: February 28, 2021