I trip in my room alone on a Friday night and make these discoveries. I look at my hand and say, where am I? In my mind in my brain? In my hand that I can see? Can you see me? I ask myself. I encourage my awareness to be open to sensory inputs other than just sight. Can you feel or hear me? I ask myself

I’ve studied myself all these years; I’ve studied all my individuations of time and space, just as I’ve studied my sensory inputs. It’s all sensory inputs.

My body is the small part of the physical word over which God has graciously granted me control.

I feel healthy and fine to not be my body or my brain. In other words, I am no longer worried about losing my identity, mostly because I feel now that my previous conception of my identity was wrong.

But I wonder why can I not access everything. Why can I not be a palm tree on an island I can’t see. I can certainly be myself, even when I close my eyes and plug my ears I still feel my hands. And when I open my eyes I am in some sense what I see. And when I unplug my eyes I am in some sense what I hear. But I am limited spatially to what I see and hear around me. And I am also limited temporally to what is around me at this time. I can extend elsewhere and elsewhen in my memory, but it is more vague. Can I make it more clear?