I did as I was instructed from what I read: once I had achieved one-pointedness, I turned my concentration onto my own mind and said to myself, “I will watch as the mind watches whatever it will.” And so my mind first watched my heartbeat. It listened to my heartbeat from the inside.

And this so pleasantly surprised me, just to watch my own mind watching my own heartbeat and nothing else, that I accidentally stopped breathing. and I would have started breathing again if I did not notice that, as I watched my mind listen to it, my heartbeat slowed, and the intervals between each beat lengthened. aAnd I held my breath for longer and longer and remembered what I had read in my book about nirodh, the state that may come after nirvana when many functions of the physical body cease. I wondered if i could go on without breathing and not die.

So I held my breath, and the intervals grew longer and longer between breaths. Until I waited for the next beat but there was none. I should have wondered if the interval between beats had just grown exponentially long, but I did not consider it at the time. At the time it was clear that my heart had stopped. And so I wondered if i had just killed myself by watching my mind listen to my heart. But I did not want this thought to interrupt my meditation as I was starting to see flashes of light and visions. Until I breathed again. And at first, my heart did not resume beating. And with my eyes closed, again I thought I might have died. But then, softly, my heart began to beat again.