Recently I’ve noticed I use words at the wrong times. I am self-conscious about sounding unintelligent. But sometimes I still can’t help but think it sounds musical, or that it makes sense in some odd way. When I look up the word in the dictionary, I’m usually wrong. I know what I’m trying to say, but we’ve agreed on the dictionary, so I have to abide by that if my intention is communication. I consider a world my only intention is communicating with myself. What would that sound like? I’m sure that crazy people sound perfectly sensical to themselves. They’ve just stopped checking themselves with the dictionary, so their words are only their own.

At some point soon I need to return to using language the right way. I’m too young to go so deep into poetry like this. I need to stay close to everyone else and their language. I love humans too much to go off on my own. Not yet.