Anytime I drink a coffee to stay awake, fall in with friends to not feel alone, drink to lose myself and have a good time—I lose a little more control myself and start to depend on the system. Each has their corollary; The later I stay up at night, the more coffee I need in the morning. So I lean farther and farther into the system until none of the energies are coming from my own natural body and mind. I want to keep the powers within myself. But alone, I am weak. I must wield my environment to achieve more than I’m capable of alone. It is a subtle balance before my environment starts to wield me.