My fear of death has almost become irrational. I imagine someone smashing me with a hammer when I’m not looking. I imagine someone coming in through my locked door when I’m sleeping. I imagine everyone has a weapon and everyone that looks at me funny wants to hurt me.

I think it’s irrational. But then I think of people who were killed by surprise. In hindsight wouldn’t it have been rational for these people to worry and watch out ahead of time?