What brings me joy

I was watching a movie about a jazz musician and there was a scene where he wins the role of piano player in a band that he admires. It made me think of my writing and how excited I would be to publish a best-seller. And then I compared that to the excitement I would feel if I were to make a lot of money from a more traditional job. I think I would be way more excited about the best-seller, which is an interesting perspective for how I’m spending my time. I spend a lot of my time working and not as much time writing. But if writing is truly what’s bringing me joy, then why am I not spending more time doing that?

Trusting the decisions you made a while ago

It is often difficult to remember after much time has passed why you decided to do what you are now doing. Even if you had written it down in clear detail in a note, that note may have been lost. So it becomes important to trust the decision-making process of your past self.

As an investor, when the market is going through turmoil or your view has become contrarian, you must trust the decision of your past self in order to continue holding your position, as long as your thesis has not been fundamentally broken.

In choosing projects to work on, jobs to take, or relationships to enter into – it is the same. Because you cannot constantly be re-evaluating your “why.” Once you have made a decision you must be focused on the “what” and the “how” entirely, in order to succeed. In every moment you are so focused on the execution of the task, you are trusting that your decision to enter into said task was, and continues to be, a correct one.

coffee line

all these people

waiting in line

for their $5

cup of coffee

when down the street

a half block

is a deli

that will sell you

a cup of coffee

for 50%

of the price

albeit 80%

of the quality;

but math is hard

in the morning,

i understand

bad dream

I keep having this recurring dream that I have missed a flight that I have paid a lot of money for. It upsets me and I wake up in a bad mood. I think it is because I am so conscious of being frugal and saving my money recently. I want to make economic progress for myself and for my partner. I am also worried about my job. I have worked hard to get into this position and I don’t want to lose it. I feel conflict with my lifestyle outside of work, both my social life and my artistic life. I struggle to maintain these other lives that are important to me but could be detrimental to my professional reputation. Like my friend Lake said, everything seems to matter more now. There is more at stake and more going on at once, and everything has to be balanced in relation to one another.