Wow, so much on the bus, trying to think of words for this but I don’t think there are any. Even my fingers streak across the screen. So many thoughts that don’t have words to express them. I’m doing my best just to write this and saying to myself, “Okay, okay, you got this.” I want to try writing poetry.

Glass out the window. Cold flakes yet to hail. I really think I’m too lost for this. It’s all garble. Nothing that makes sense comes out. All I can keep saying is ‘oh god, oh god’ and marvel at how my fingers feel.

My mind isn’t putting together what is spatially available to my body. I thought in my head that there was fruit in the fridge at home. I reached out in the present world where I’m just sitting in a bus and I tried to take the fruit out of my fridge. It seemed perfectly reasonable to me that I could reach out and grab something that wasn’t there. Everyone on this bus is thinking the same thing. It’s like we all share the same mind.

I want to take mental snapshots, to remember this somehow. The height of my life. I think the same thing every time. But eventually I forget and go back to living normally.

I feel the soreness in my brain like a muscle tired after a workout.