leading on after into the microphone especially when I have nothing good to say not mattering as much that the speech to text messes it up is the original might not of been good anyhow just finding time like laying in the hotel bed before going out to the pool to say something anything really into the phone thinking something and stopping myself because thinking it might not be good but then knowing Shirley my ego has a hand in it and this being the main mistake when trying to write stream of consciousness but the complete lack of self consciousness during the kids through the window in the pool outside a little after 4 PM waiting for her food to settle so we can join them another long pause that the text doesn’t pick up like music would or a live performance when someone in the crowd would shout out what the hell are you doing not saying anything up there that I would showShout back I’m thinking but really not needing to do that now just needing to let it flow but can’t maybe a swim well maybe swing will help

at the same time you still have to be listening to what you’re saying Jane not to listen to just say and let it go otherwise what is being said is affected by what was said and what will be said and what is being sad all the time can’t be gotten through without what is behind or ahead you need to close my eyes and not look at the screen as the words appear but then being conscious of the speech to text turning off after 20 or 30 seconds seconds as it does needing to fix the phone or ask able to show me howLike just now I had to restart it you can tell by the capital letter and I’m looking at my screen and conscious of that when I write best ascending into no knowledge of what I’m doing and also conscious now as talking too much about the process I need to talk about the white walls in the orange circle painted over and over on the back wall in the white drape go to bed in the window letting in sunlight at 4 PM and baby here next to me patiently waiting and listening like she always does

Leaning my head off the edge of the bed with nothing else to say at the hotel having gotten out of town working a lot recently but this negatively affecting my writing not being able to get into the mindset and create when doing the same rudimentary tasks over and over and just wanting to think of nothing when I get home and spend time with baby even now out of town but I’m usually inspired a little less so but it’s all right I suppose work going well and the art will come back I hope

neither not even having energy your inspiration to get down let’s go but I can still get something down just talking about the ceiling line always the ceiling laying down looking up in the sound outside just nothing inspired in the situation so if I say my situation and what I see which I usually am excited about relaxed enough in this case but just not necessarily excited like it’s artistic just satisfactory and making me comfortable but the inspiration idea that this is really anyDifferent than what anybody else is doing on a regular basis without that it’s hard to talk a lot and fast about it so really just mumbling right now and trying hard to no avail laying on the bed in my towel after a swim waiting for baby to finish her shower and then take a nap and maybe dinner later not really matter and I think needing to remember now just to be thankful for when I’m comfortable and not having to create so much all the time

speech to text working well now and wanting to take advantage of it when my words are worth written down clearly but at the same time becoming conscious of the fact that there is no excuse if what is written isn’t any good so the instruments of production are precise enough that the fault lies only with the producer and really having nothing to sayIn this moment other than what the technology might mess up for me