Month: March 2022

Two men of about the same age

I walk the border
Between these two worlds
Behind a father
Backpack with
Baseball bat and racket
Slung over his shoulder
His beard greying
Holding the hand of
His young daughter
Son and wife
Walking alongside
And the homeless man
Asleep in the sun
On his thin cardboard bed
Arm under his head
Eyes closed
Wearing clothes he’s worn
For who knows
How many days
And his beard
Is also greying

March 26, 2022 at 02:39PM

Posted on by Cole

With you

I don’t fear death as much when I’m with you. It just doesn’t get any better, so why go on living? I only want to go on living if I’m with you. And I know that might not happen. So I don’t really care if I die now. It’s like I was only ever born to do one thing, and that’s to be here with you now. 
Posted on by Cole

You’re my drug

I don’t even need drugs 
When I’m with you 
Because the motivation to please you 
Is amphetamine 
The intoxication of your aura 
Is alcohol
The connection when I look into your eyes 
Is psychedelic 
And the embrace of our love 
Is ecstasy 

March 20, 2022 at 01:15PM

Posted on by Cole

This is not wasted time

There is not good
Or service 
That I am expecting in return 
For the time I’ve spent 
There is nowhere 
That we’re trying to get to
Like a timed race 
There is no bank vault 
Where I’m storing
These memories we’ve made 
Other than my own heart 
I know that one way or another 
There will come a time 
When we may no longer be together 
Either because you choose
That you don’t want me
Or one of us dies 
Or is lost at sea 
I know that this won’t be forever 
But you’re here with me now 
And I’m thankful 
So thankful that I would live 
A whole other life 
Of agony and despair
Just to experience this moment again 
But I have it right now
And I don’t have to suffer for it
And I am thankful 

March 20, 2022 at 01:01PM

Posted on by Cole

I, I, I

Up in the night now
Not having written in a while
Lifting off like I used to
Listening to the wind howl
Around the side of the building
Outside
And remembering
How I always write
About myself
Sweating
Because I ate too big
Of a dinner
Before bed
It’s always
I, I, I
Me, me, me
Even though everything I read
In the spiritual books
Stacked on my nightstand
Says that “I”
Am just an illusion
And “I”
Should just let go
But it’s hard
To let slip through my fingers
Like sand
The solid form
That society has sold me
On cementing and stacking
Ever since my earliest memories
Of hope for love
And fear of never being enough
See, it’s only up in the night
Like I am now
That I’m ever honest
Which is not to say
I lie on purpose during the day
It’s just
I don’t know
I am losing the magic now
I must
Lay my head back down
I have been awake too long
And here I go
In the middle of the night
Writing all about
I, I, I
Again

March 18, 2022 at 01:41PM

Posted on by Cole

I, I, I

Up in the night now
Not having written in a while
Lifting off like I used to
Listening to the wind howl
Around the side of the building
Outside
And remembering
How I always write
About myself
Sweating
Because I ate too big
Of a dinner
Before bed
It’s always
I, I, I
Me, me, me
Even though everything I read
In the spiritual books
Stacked on my nightstand
Says that “I”
Am just an illusion
And “I”
Should just let go
But it’s hard
To let slip through my fingers
Like sand
The solid form
That society has sold me
On cementing and stacking
Ever since my earliest memories
Of hope for love
And fear of never being enough
See, it’s only up in the night
Like I am now
That I’m ever honest
Which is not to say
I lie on purpose during the day
It’s just
I don’t know
I am losing the magic now
I must
Lay my head back down
I have been awake too long
And here I go
In the middle of the night
Writing all about
I, I, I
Again

March 18, 2022 at 01:41PM

Posted on by Cole

I want you in my bed

I want you back in my bed
I never want you to leave again 
I’ll bring you everything you need 
I want you to wait there for me
When I go out to get food
I want you to be there
When I go I sleep 
And when I wake up in the morning 
I don’t want you to worry 
About a single thing 
Other than being there for me
I have strength enough
To conquer the world
But I can’t take care of myself 
Only you can do that for me
And I know that’s not true 
They tell me to love myself
But my love is not the love I want 
I want your love 
And I’ll give you anything 
If you’ll just come back to my bed 

March 08, 2022 at 05:22PM

Posted on by Cole

Feeling true pain for the first time

I’ve never felt pain enough 
To write about it like this 
Never loved deep enough 
To feel loss like this
To feel hurt like this 
To be willing to resort
To begging and pleading
Like this 
It’s my own fault 
That I lost her 
I let her go
I took her for granted 
They say 
If you love someone
You can let them go
But they also say 
Separation 
Makes the heart grow fonder
Both are true I guess 
But the truth didn’t help me
It only brought me pain
I welcome the pain
It’s worth it
I want her back
And I’ll fight for her
And I might lose that fight 
But I’ll only accept losing that fight 
If it means she’s happy 
And if she’s happy 
Then I have to find someone
To help make me happy 
That starts with myself 
I have to love myself first 
Which is maybe the reason 
I left her in the first place 
And the reason why
I’ll spend the rest of my life
Searching for another portal to heaven
Another angel with the keys 

March 07, 2022 at 05:37PM

Posted on by Cole

Feeling true pain for the first time

I’ve never felt pain enough 
To write about it like this 
Never loved deep enough 
To feel loss like this
To feel hurt like this 
To be willing to resort
To begging and pleading
Like this 
It’s my own fault 
That I lost her 
I let her go
I took her for granted 
They say 
If you love someone
You can let them go
But they also say 
Separation 
Makes the heart grow fonder
Both are true I guess 
But the truth didn’t help me
It only brought me pain
I welcome the pain
It’s worth it
I want her back
And I’ll fight for her
And I might lose that fight 
But I’ll only accept losing that fight 
If it means she’s happy 
And if she’s happy 
Then I have to find someone
To help make me happy 
That starts with myself 
I have to love myself first 
Which is maybe the reason 
I left her in the first place 
And the reason why
I’ll spend the rest of my life
Searching for another portal to heaven
Another angel with the keys 

March 07, 2022 at 05:37PM

Posted on by Cole