With you

Every minute
I'm not with you
I'm thinking of it
and resisting
only because
I know it'll be better
when we're back.

Snow

Next to the little gold buddha statue 
on top of the Chameleon's bookshelf 
there's some snow.

Travel

I lay up late
the night before travel
and can't sleep.

I pack my bags
and find among my things
the habits I haven't even realized
have formed since 
the last time
I left.

Explode

My mental ego inflated until I couldn’t take it anymore and exploded out of my physical self.

Two

Less often
can I tell the difference
between the two:

So that I'm always asking,
did that happen?
Is it happening now?

Or has it already,
and always will?

Shadow words

I've written on my apartment window
so that when cars drive by
with their lights on
just for a moment
I can see the writing
flash its shadow
on my ceiling.

Drug cold high

I stand in a hot shower
turn it to cold
and wonder:

Can you imagine
if you took a drug
and the come up
was like an ice bath
that you didn't expect
but had no choice
other than to persist
through a painful cold
that would kill any human
but keeps you alive
because it's only in your mind?

And then after the cold
comes the greatest high of your life
and you are enjoying it so much 
and think without a doubt 
the cold was so worth it.

But what you are now experiencing
is being sober and warm,
born again
out of the drugged ice bath.

So that what you are enjoying so much 
as the greatest high of your life
is really just normal lukewarm life
that seems so pleasantly warm
after such an awful cold.

Social mobility

Even those with social mobility
don't move side to side; 
instead, they go up 
and to the right, 
where instincts 
and social pressures 
guide them.

Conversation

It’s about when you trade the responsibility to talk, and the tone with which you finish your turn.

For example, if I ask a very intelligent question and end with a very clear and resolute tone shift up, versus asking a convoluted question and trailing off without any clear indication that it’s the other person’s turn to talk.

Dream

I dream about these things 
I would never do in real life,
but they help me to think 
about what would happen 
if I did.

Almost done

There’s a point where you need to let a work rest so that you can come back later and read it anew; I always end up drinking and going out and partying to distract myself from it, then a month later I’m a new person and can read it again and bring it to a more objective popularity.

Feel

The verb “feel” has two meanings. In one way, it describes one of the five senses—the sensation of touch—alongside the other sensory verbs: see, hear, taste, and smell.

In another, it is emotion—which has everything, and nothing, to do with the five senses, touch especially.

Leave it

You really have to learn
to leave it alone
when it's time
and to keep going
even when you don't want to.

 

Lights

I look up on
a wall of windows
and wonder about
the lights on
and the lights that aren't

 

Rap

Why is rap only ever about the struggle, the come up, and success—the same story over and over, then they run out of things to say.

Wolves

I dreamt that we as humans were fighting wolves. The wolves were winning and the humans moved to a gated community in the middle of a big field.

Category

No artist is necessarily “good” by definition, they’re just in a category, and every category has an audience—some are big, some are small. Nietzsche wasn’t necessarily good, he was just in this category of pedantic intellect that has a mysterious quality to it where nobody is sure whether he’s brilliant or insane. Same with Hemingway he’s just in a category of having such simple sentences that people aren’t sure whether he’s a revolutionary writer or just never figured out how to write complex sentences. Or, all self-help, most of it’s not any good but people love to read about how to improve themselves so it’s popular. It’s all about just producing and marketing, there’s an audience for everything. Even Lewis Carroll’s nonsense has an audience, and so do notebooks with blank pages.

Heeby jeeby

I was a little up and out of it and insane at the time. So when I look back it seems a little heeby jeeby, gives me the creeps and make me wonder what will people think.

Gun

It was dark in the alley, he had the gun low pointed at my chest. He wasn’t even holding it right, kind of side ways and scared. I put both hands over his, holding the gun and raised the barrel and pressed it to my forehead.

Click.

Click. Click. Click.

He pulled the trigger once, to my surprise. I didn’t think he would. Then he pulled it three more times. Thank god I pressed the safety button when I put my hands on his.