I can feel it fail, see where it breaks down, and invent up the tool to fix it.
Month: December 2017
With you
Every minute I'm not with you I'm thinking of it and resisting only because I know it'll be better when we're back.
Keep
Keeping in it like we got to until we can't anymore.
Snow
Next to the little gold buddha statue on top of the Chameleon's bookshelf there's some snow.
Travel
I lay up late the night before travel and can't sleep. I pack my bags and find among my things the habits I haven't even realized have formed since the last time I left.
Explode
My mental ego inflated until I couldn’t take it anymore and exploded out of my physical self.
Two
Less often can I tell the difference between the two: So that I'm always asking, did that happen? Is it happening now? Or has it already, and always will?
Shadow words
I've written on my apartment window so that when cars drive by with their lights on just for a moment I can see the writing flash its shadow on my ceiling.
Drug cold high
I stand in a hot shower turn it to cold and wonder: Can you imagine if you took a drug and the come up was like an ice bath that you didn't expect but had no choice other than to persist through a painful cold that would kill any human but keeps you alive because it's only in your mind? And then after the cold comes the greatest high of your life and you are enjoying it so much and think without a doubt the cold was so worth it. But what you are now experiencing is being sober and warm, born again out of the drugged ice bath. So that what you are enjoying so much as the greatest high of your life is really just normal lukewarm life that seems so pleasantly warm after such an awful cold.
Float
I get caught up and let it carry me along.
Social mobility
Even those with social mobility don't move side to side; instead, they go up and to the right, where instincts and social pressures guide them.
Absurd
I think up absurd things and wonder if they’ve ever really happened.
My favorite question
What do you find interesting to learn about?
Conversation
It’s about when you trade the responsibility to talk, and the tone with which you finish your turn.
For example, if I ask a very intelligent question and end with a very clear and resolute tone shift up, versus asking a convoluted question and trailing off without any clear indication that it’s the other person’s turn to talk.
Dream
I dream about these things I would never do in real life, but they help me to think about what would happen if I did.
Almost done
There’s a point where you need to let a work rest so that you can come back later and read it anew; I always end up drinking and going out and partying to distract myself from it, then a month later I’m a new person and can read it again and bring it to a more objective popularity.
Dream
I dreamt the dreams of so many and walked the blurry lines between them all.
Coffee
Other than a coffee machine, the toilet is the most important thing in a coffee house.
Feel
The verb “feel” has two meanings. In one way, it describes one of the five senses—the sensation of touch—alongside the other sensory verbs: see, hear, taste, and smell.
In another, it is emotion—which has everything, and nothing, to do with the five senses, touch especially.
Job
People say, “I’m just doing my job.” Like that’s a legitimate excuse.
Leave it
You really have to learn to leave it alone when it's time and to keep going even when you don't want to.
Party
For an artist, you don’t work to party more; you party to work more.
Lights
I look up on a wall of windows and wonder about the lights on and the lights that aren't
Game
The only way to lose Is to not play the game
Rap
Why is rap only ever about the struggle, the come up, and success—the same story over and over, then they run out of things to say.
Wolves
I dreamt that we as humans were fighting wolves. The wolves were winning and the humans moved to a gated community in the middle of a big field.
Category
No artist is necessarily “good” by definition, they’re just in a category, and every category has an audience—some are big, some are small. Nietzsche wasn’t necessarily good, he was just in this category of pedantic intellect that has a mysterious quality to it where nobody is sure whether he’s brilliant or insane. Same with Hemingway he’s just in a category of having such simple sentences that people aren’t sure whether he’s a revolutionary writer or just never figured out how to write complex sentences. Or, all self-help, most of it’s not any good but people love to read about how to improve themselves so it’s popular. It’s all about just producing and marketing, there’s an audience for everything. Even Lewis Carroll’s nonsense has an audience, and so do notebooks with blank pages.
Heeby jeeby
I was a little up and out of it and insane at the time. So when I look back it seems a little heeby jeeby, gives me the creeps and make me wonder what will people think.
Gun
It was dark in the alley, he had the gun low pointed at my chest. He wasn’t even holding it right, kind of side ways and scared. I put both hands over his, holding the gun and raised the barrel and pressed it to my forehead.
Click.
Click. Click. Click.
He pulled the trigger once, to my surprise. I didn’t think he would. Then he pulled it three more times. Thank god I pressed the safety button when I put my hands on his.