In a new time and place and still how quickly things become old and routine so that your mind need only travel familiar pathways.

You become an adult and things get edges and contracts are binding and your identity gets tighter as your history cannibalizes your future and there’s less room to stretch out and breathe deep, but of course that is only looking at it one way, for in another way there are depths in the tightness and passion in the exactitude, and an adult can still be a child whenever he wishes, the only difference is that now he has become his own parent, and his adult self cares for the safety and hunger of his child self, he is grown up and powerful to play his role in society, but also young and curious to step into a forest on the weekend and hug a tree as if it were all for the first time. Child is not only for youth and adult is not only for grown up, they are both within me always.

I am more and more comfortable in each of many places, more a dweller of the earth rather than just of my hometown, more restful to sleep in a new place, less anxious to travel far away, more understanding of people different from myself and places different from where I was raised, there is a feeling of comfort and safety in one’s own home, the lack of which is what we call home sickness.

I am less homesick nowadays for my home is bigger. I imagine I might be homesick to leave earth, to travel in space or visit another planet, but now I have learned to stretch myself and learn and adapt and even far away from earth I would only be homesick for a little while until I made friends with aliens and learned to walk in less gravity, just like I learned to make friends with different cultures on earth and be healthy in different climates.

And my primal self is more relaxed, less anxious for my safety and food security. In large part this is due to the modern economy and ease of transportation and scale of food supply in America. I am thankful for the opportunity to see and live in so much of such a beautiful world.

God please don’t let me lose this newness of vision, please let me see the world like the first time, like I’m traveling to a place I’ve never been before, when my world fills up with possibilities and I see more paths than the routine one. God please don’t let me lose this newness of vision.

When you learn something new and then incorporate it into your beliefs/change your opinion instead of just ignoring it or keeping it separate.

I work up my temporal strength to hold on to a moment; I revel in the feeling of pain or meditate in the heights or even just listen to silence that slows the clock hands.

But as soon as I get hold of one moment the next few pass quickly. And they always pass eventually, even the ones that pass slow. And so inevitably it seems time has gone by all at once.

My father always told me I’d understand things when I’m older. I’m old enough now to understand that even though I hold onto my youth as much as I can, I’ll look back when I’m older and breathe deeply for no matter how slowly I tried to pass the moments, I could not stop them from passing altogether.

We champion only capitalist, and thus monetary, success in post-industrial America. When there are so many amazing humans who have excelled in disciplines that are not so fashionable and appreciated at this time. I wonder if there is an artistic or spiritual revolution coming, when we realize how far we’ve come in the physical world and see that we’ve had enough for centuries now.